I’ve heard some folks express skepticism and criticism of preferred pronouns being added as identifiers. (My unconfirmed guess is that many of these skeptics may also be from the “lightly seasoned” generation.) I have a friend who’s working for a non-profit with proud organizational pronouncements that “diversity enriches all of our lives” and “the value and importance of adapting to a changing world”. My friend reported the controversy that erupted in a board/management meeting regarding including preferred pronouns as identifiers and how bewildering that was.

It seems right for an individual to let others know how they prefer to be addressed or referred to and for others to respect that. My first name is “Susan”, and I don’t like it when people presume it’s OK to call me “Sue” or the deadly “Susie-Q”. (Caveat: my family members call me “Su”, “Aunty Su” or the little ones have called me “Su Su”, but in my mind and when they spell out my shortened name, it’s without the ‘e’ at the end!)

I remember when “GIRLS” and “LADIES” were presumed to be perfectly OK when addressing groups of females: in the workplace, community organizations, churches, etc., even if those being addressed were well past puberty or wearing jeans & sweatshirts just like their male counterparts. Doing a little research, I see that “lady” was loaded with all kinds of connotations of class and social status. The terminology switched from “lady/ladies” to “woman/women” the early 1900’s and definitely during the Women’s Liberation movement in the 1960’s. More recently “female” is being used as well as the question asked whether gender needs to be part of an individual’s description (e.g. “female physician”). I’m relieved and happy about these changes as I always felt like there was something demeaning about how females were being labelled and addressed.

So, back to preferred pronouns. “They/Them/Theirs” is a new one being used and discussed. I like that 1) It’s not gender specific and 2) It recognizes the communal aspect of our identities. I’ll end with this wonderful quote.

“The Triune God was the original singular ‘they’“

–Rev. Dr. Joyce Del Rosario, Evolving Faith 2022